This is a drabble for the meme, which wouldn't fit into the comment box: nev_longbottom asked for "Neji and Hinata, after he leaves the country and has his operation post '9 to 5 Grind.'"

The answer: molten Velveeta came. But theoretically, in a different universe:


( It took years to earn enough money. )


Martina Sorbara - Bonnie and Clyde II

And now with fanart, too! Thanks, akavertigo!

( Right, the original prompt was 'NaruSasu,' wasn't it? )

( Kiss /that/ character goodbye! )

( The fact that we know nothing about Shisui makes him so much fun to write. )

( Run for your life, Hinata. )

( This scene nominated for Best Cell Phone Reception In A Subway Car. )

( The end. )



Gigabomb has written a sidefic to this that will explain at least some of what's gone on off-scene: Those Who Pay Witness

If Naruto 347 wasn't a siren call to work on this, I don't know what was.


( When you're an Uchiha you're an Uchiha all the way~ )

( Don't be like Sasuke, Hinata. )

( I don't know if Futurama ever went over to Japan or not, but I wanted to make that joke dammit. )

( Nothing really fazes Lee for long. )

( Naruto's Pimp Skill #34: Way of the Eternal Therapist. )

( 'Killian's Red' is playing somewhere in the background. )

( Sakura meant everything she said. )

If you get where the strangler plot is heftily borrowed from, I will totally fangirl your taste in manga. Not so much if you get Kiba's joke, though that still earns obscure series points.


( Kiba had to explain that reference to the entire house the first time he made it, with the exception of Naruto. )

( I told you to pay attention to the jogger. )

( Oh snap now the serious plot starts. )

( Sasuke: still incapable of directly showing concern. )

( This is what Naruto was googling way back in part thirty-one. )

The madness continues.



( Sakura left the room for other reasons. )

( You know. THAT kind of couch. )

( Just try to picture Neji in anger management classes. )

( Pay no attention to the fact that Naruto clearly watched the History Channel's documentary on prostitution in the Wild West. )

( Sasuke later burned his clothes as well. )

More Whorehouse AU 9 to 5 Grind, only now with a set plot-arc and definite ending ("'Crack'? We do not understand the meaning of this 'crack.'"). Those of you familiar with my writing, feel free to start being afraid.


( He mothers that dog. It's kind of sad. )

( He tells people the mask is for allergies. )

( Like you would have resisted taking a picture either. )

( They fight a lot, so they're pretty used to making up. )



Addendum:
gigabomb wrote a sidefic to this, Give and Take, about Orochimaru and Jiraiya and just how that little mess with Gaara was cleaned up. Tell me that is not awesome. And then go and tell her that it is.

More of The AU That Ate My Life, which still needs a name.


( She really did faint. It was the corset she was wearing at the time. )

( Neji would win. )

( Kiba's mom doesn't really care what he's doing, as long as he's happy and not wracking up bad credit history. )

( Sakura can break speed-dressing records when she's angry. )

( Yeah, that was a 'gasoline onto flames' kind of relevation. )

Long story short, this began when Asuka said "A really great crackfic would be Naruto as a pimp training under Jiraiya with all the people he's converted as his hos!" and I foolishly wrote a drabble for it. And then it degenerated into something half-serious and with sort of plot and it's cluttered up my regular journal long enough. So.


( 'So, I run this whorehouse, and I think you'd do great work there!' *punch* )



Gigabomb's side-series on Orochimaru and various Sound characters: A Darker Shade of Grey, or 5 To Midnight And All Is Not Well
Give and Take
Those Who Pay Witness